4 Months Old!

(Well she's actually 4 1/2 months, I'm a little late posting this)

I can't believe how much Romney has grown in the past 4 months. Here are a few things about this little beauty.

• She is incredibly easy going. Seriously, imagine the baby of your dreams and she'll fit the description (and not just in looks). She spends about 85% of her day smiling. Even on a bad day she's still all smiles 70% of the time. She's only fussy when she's hungry or tired. But even then, she does what we call a "cry smile". As she starts to fuss we'll look at her and talk funny or smile and her voice is still fussing but her face is all smiles. If she's full on crying, which rarely happens, you know she's really ticked. 

• She is the biggest cuddle bug and has no problem just hanging out on your lap. As long as she can see what's going on and be apart of it she's perfectly content. Because of this, she hates being held in a lying down position, she has to be upright. Consequently, her favorite position to sleep in and even fall asleep in is sitting up. 

• She has developed the cutest personality. She has associated smiling with attention so sometimes we'll look over at her and she's just grinning at us. She does this all the time in public, I'll see her smiling like crazy and look back to see who's got her attention and sometimes it's no one, she's just smiling at someone hoping they'll notice. She is a social butterfly already.

• She loves being in new places and seeing new things. Loud places don't scare her, she just gets more intrigued. She intensely looks all around trying to figure it all out.    

• She loves talking and having "conversations" even if it's just with herself. 

• She adores any type of music but she especially loves it when people sing to her, she gets a big smile on her face and tries to sing back. 

• She is always entertained by anything people do with their mouth (blow raspberries, stick out their tongue, make clicking noises, etc.). She's almost figured out how to blow raspberries, but for now she's mostly using her lips while her chin gets covered in spit. It entertains her to no end and she'll sit there doing this over and over again. 

• She's trying desperately to figure out how to do a full on giggle. She's successful more and more but most of the time it comes out as a squeal. 

• We got her ears pierced on Saturday. She did not love it...and I darn near had a heart attack in anticipation, but all in all the crying only lasted a few minutes and then she fell back to sleep. The one thing I would do differently is not let her be asleep to begin with. I think she cried harder because she was startled awake by a loud noise and some pain. But, they don't bother her at all and she leaves them alone, which is why I wanted to do it so young.    

• Her hair is long enough that I can pull it up into little pigtails. It's so fun!

Clearly we love her to death. She melts our hearts and brightens our day.

Me

This isn't going to be my favorite post and it makes me a little nervous for people to read. When you expose the most raw part of yourself, you can't help but feel a little vulnerable. I've debated posting this to the public and who knows why I did. Maybe because those who know about it seem hesitant to ask me personally or maybe because it might help someone in someway or maybe it's simply because I find writing down my feelings therapeutic. After the past month I've had, I'm in need of anything therapeutic.

About a year and a half ago I wrote this post that touched very lightly on my latest medical issues. I was so excited to announce at the end of that post that I had successfully gotten off all seizure medications. I'm sad to say that after a liberating year and a half, that's no longer the case.

In 2005, as an 18 year old senior in high school just a month before graduation, I was told I had adolescent onset epilepsy. Growing up I was always a healthy child with no problems, so to lay down one Sunday afternoon for a nap and then wake up in the ER was terrifying. I literally thought I had died until I saw my mom standing over me trying to explain that I'd had a grand mal seizure. I kept telling her over and over "I don't understand". When I finally understood what the words meant, I went into an uncontrollable panic attack. I couldn't understand why this was happening and the whole situation seemed like a cold hard punch in the face. I just kept wondering what I did wrong.

Hoping it was a fluke, my parents kept a close eye on me and watched as I had another in my sleep just two days later. Now that I knew for sure what waking up from a seizure felt like, I pieced a few things together and realized I'd been having them for months in my sleep before anybody witnessed one.  At this point the neurologist felt it necessary to start medication. The side effects from the medication is a horror story in itself. Some of the things I had to deal with were anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia, lethargy, confusion, nausea, feeling lightheaded, losing my balance, loss of appetite, loss of weight, insomnia, crying randomly with no control of my emotions, having trouble remembering words which occasionally makes me stumble when I speak, being in the middle of a sentence and completely forgetting what I'm talking about, memory loss to the point I couldn't remember my own childhood and short term memory became difficult to retain. As well as legally being unable to drive for 3 months after each seizure and being required to have my neurologist sign off on my ability/safety of driving and pass it on to the DMV every year. In general I felt broken and nothing like my old self. I felt like I had been forced to become a different person and I hated it. But the medicine stopped the seizures immediately, so I dealt with it.

A few months later just after regaining my ability to drive; I forgot to take my medicine one night and the next morning had two grand mal seizures within a few hours of each other, one of which I stopped breathing. My dosage was upped and I now had to take it twice a day. The doctors did test after test (EEG, MRI, CAT Scan, sleep deprived tests and even a 24 hour EEG) some of them multiple times...nothing. The only common denominator between all my seizures was they only happened in my sleep. All they could tell me was to avoid the extremes, don't get too stressed, too tired, too hungry etc. Which all things considered isn't that bad but it does leave you wondering; Am I going to be on meds for the rest of my life? If so what kind of toll will it take on my body? Are the side effects always going to be this difficult? How can I get an education with no memory? What will happen when I'm pregnant? Will I be able to breastfeed? and so on and so on. Over a course of time it became easier to deal with the side effects and lingering questions. I accepted my new reality and began to move on. It went on this way for 3 years as I got used to the side effects and continued to be seizure free on medication. I felt like my old self, I was happy, living a good life and felt "normal". At the end of those 3 years I experienced a time of extreme stress. Shortly after, I was in a lot of physical pain, different than anything I'd ever felt and I couldn't help but sleep 12+ hours a day. I went back to the neurologist and was told I now had fibromyalgia. I didn't like that answer so I went to two more neurologists who told me the same thing before I accepted it. The third neurologist told me he'd like to put me on a med that would take care of both the seizures and the fibromyalgia. I decided that was better than just adding more meds and began the switch.

Switching was a nightmare, I was dealing with side effects of the new meds and withdrawals from the old meds at the same time. The whole process had to happen slowly over a couple months to avoid causing a seizure. The side effects of the new medication were even worse than the first. I only lasted a few months on it before I couldn't take it anymore, so I switched meds again and started the whole process over. This third medication didn't take care of the fibromyalgia and caused the anxiety to be so bad I had to add another medication to ease that. That ended up being a pretty good combination so I stayed on those meds for 2 years and found other ways to deal with the fibromyalgia. Again I felt like my old self, I was happy, living a good life and feeling "normal". I had a neurologist tell me that the surface of your brain changes every 5-7 years and since I had been seizure free for 5 years, there was a possibility I outgrew this and I could now try going off all the meds. I was so excited about this idea and started going off right away. That process took even longer because I had to get off each med individually and slowly.

At this point Tyler and I had been married about six months and he was coming along for the ride. I was convinced going off the meds would work...and it did. Assuming I had outgrown the seizures, I was excited to leave this in the past and see my future as medicine and seizure free.

When I got pregnant at the beginning of 2012 we took extra precautions and I some how made it through an extraordinarily difficult pregnancy and a taxing birth with no meds and no seizures. This is truly just short of a miracle. During pregnancy a grand mal seizure could easily be fatal to the baby and I'm not sure what would happen during labor and delivery other than a hopefully successful emergency c-section.

After Romney was born I was able to breastfeed which was a huge blessing and accomplishment. I was told by doctors that would never be possible because of the medication I'd have to be on. Six weeks after Romney's birth I woke up with a chewed tongue (one of the signs I recognized as a seizure) which hadn't happened in 7 years. A few days earlier I remember telling Tyler I felt funny. I couldn't explain how, I just felt...off. But that seizure was different. I didn't lose consciousness and I remember sitting straight up in bed for a few seconds feeling like I was in a daze and blinking like crazy. This happened two different times, that I know of. But because it was so different from all the other grand mal seizures, I put it out of my mind. In reality these were very similar to the small ones I was having for months before my family witnessed my first big seizure. When I told Tyler what had happened, I made sure he knew that if it was a seizure, under no circumstances was I going back on medication. I had been seizure free for 7 years and it didn't make sense that this could be happening again.

Exactly one week later I regained consciousness from a deep, dark blackness that words cannot explain. It truly feels like I just woke up from nothingness. For a split second I'm pretty sure I died and have no idea where I am. As I start to get a grip on reality and begin to understand my surroundings. I become completely disoriented and utterly confused. The person standing over me when I regain consciousness has to explain to me over and over again what just happened until I get a grip and understand what's going on.

The morning of December 16th the first thing I remember was Tyler leaning over me saying "Do you know what just happened?" I knew he was speaking to me but I had no idea what he was saying. He had to repeat himself multiple times before I realized what he was saying and answered "No". He told me "You just had a seizure". That only confused me more but after I had a little time to process it, I finally understood what the words meant and began sobbing. That's when the full blown panic begins. I have now realized that I just lost all control of my body and slipped into complete darkness. I've never felt more helpless. After I stop crying and let someone console me enough that I somewhat relax, I begin to feel the fatigue take over. All I want to do is sleep while at the same time wanting nothing more than to stay awake. I know sleep is the only thing that brings the seizures, so I begin the battle but sleep always wins.

The first seizure took place at 3am. I quickly fell back to sleep and the next thing I knew, I was once more waking up from the darkness. Tyler had to start the whole process over again. Once I understood that it was 6am of that same morning, I really lost it.

I don't know if this whole ordeal was more difficult for me or Tyler. From what I understand and what has been described to me about my seizures it's terrifying to watch (I'll spare you the details). I've never seen one and pray I never do. It's something you just can't unsee. I'm sure Tyler felt just as helpless as I did. So when I finally calmed down, he sweetly looked at me and carefully said, "I think you need to go back on your medicine". I knew at this point there was no other option, so I answered with a quiet and simple "ok".

Tyler called around trying to find a doctor early on a Sunday morning that could prescribe the last medicine I had been on. He was finally able to talk to a doctor who sent in the prescription and told Tyler that under no circumstances was I to breastfeed. That was like pouring salt in the wound. I had worked so hard to accomplish this and it was now another thing about my body I couldn't control. The medicine coursing through my veins keeping me conscious, was poison to my baby. I felt like the hard work was all for nothing, like I was a failure and that all of this was my fault. So began the self inflicted guilt trip.

My poor baby girl had the hardest time adjusting to formula. We tried one after the other but her tummy hurt so bad and she continued to be backed up unless she got a little help. Again enters the guilt trip. The one thing I knew could make her feel better was the one thing I couldn't giver her. When the seizures happened before it had the biggest affect on me. But now it was directly affecting my little family in multiple ways. I think that hurts more than anything. Later I found out that in my disoriented state after one of my seizures I asked Tyler if he still loved me even though I was broken. Hearing him tell me that broke my heart. Of course I knew he loved me unconditionally, but for a brief moment part of me really did feel that way. I don't think anyone could help but feel that way. A couple days later I told him I felt like I was in a nightmare. He answered "we are". That's when I realized just how much this hurt him too. It must have been one of the scariest, if not the scariest experience of his life. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to helplessly watch the person you love go through that. But Tyler has been my rock and strength through all of this. I know everything will be ok. It's easier this time because I have him.

The first few days were the hardest but we quickly got our feet back under us. In all this mess we've been able to lean on each other (more me leaning on him) and push through. A few days before Christmas Tyler told me he just couldn't wait to give me something (we're terrible at keeping surprises from each other). Then he pulled out a jewelry box that had the most elegant necklace with a diamond hanging from it. It was the exact design that I mentioned to him (once maybe twice) that I'd like to have one day. He emphasized that this wasn't my Christmas present, it was because I've been through such a hard year and the necklace was to remind me how strong I am. It's the most amazing thing anyone has ever given me. Not because of the way it looks (although it is beautiful) but because of the meaning and purpose behind it. His thoughtful gesture hit me deep. It never occurred to me that I was strong. I don't feel strong, but I guess the times you need to be strong are the times you feel most weak.

I don't know when or if I'll ever be able to go off the medication, but the benefits of the meds outweigh the risks of a seizure. The last thing I want is to have a seizure during pregnancy and I never ever want my kids to see me like that. Although this is truly the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, in hindsight, it could be a lot worse. I try to remember how grateful I should be and how lucky I am to have medicine that works and a great support system full of people who love and care about me. I've learned a lot from my struggles and feel I'm a better person because of it. I'm not saying the difficulty of the situation has gone away. I still struggle from time to time. I feel ok until I think about it too much and realize how this has completely changed my life and I don't understand why. I occasionally still wonder what I did wrong. And sometimes I tell Tyler I don't know if I can do this anymore. But nothing worthwhile ever comes easy and I think I have lived and will live a full and beautiful life because of that.

I really don't mind talking about it, but I rarely if ever volunteer the information. If someone asks directly I'll talk about it, but if someone just simply asks how I'm doing 99% of the time I'll say "Good!" But the purpose of this post was not to have a pity party and I hope it doesn't come off that way. This is really just a reflection of things I have been through and a way to get it off my chest so I can move forward.

Romney Beth Nelson

I can't believe it's taken me so long to blog about Romney's birth. I guess I've just been enjoying my baby :)  I could stare at her adorable face all day and I totally would if I could. Anyway, Enjoy!

I woke up the morning of October 27th with a feeling that something was going to happen. Call it mother's intuition or whatever, but I knew before I got out of bed that I'd go into labor that day. I took advantage of this and soaked in the moment as much as possible. I laid in the quiet wondering about everything that was about to happen, how I'd feel and how everything would play out. I'd been anticipating meeting my baby girl for months and months and all of a sudden it was here. It was such a surreal moment. When I got out of bed I fully expected my water to break the minute my feet touched the floor. That didn't happen.....even after walking around for a while. I began second guessing myself and started to put the thought out of my mind completely. It was a Saturday, so Tyler and I filled our morning doing random things around the house. As the morning progressed, I thought my water could be leaking, but last time I thought that, I was wrong. So again I just put it out of my mind and continued to busy myself with other things. Around 11:00 I was pretty certain my water was leaking and I  really started considering going to the hospital. I wasn't feeling any contractions, so I figured I could still be wrong. Tyler had plans to go to lunch with some friends at 12:30 and I told him if I still felt the same when he got back, we should probably go to the hospital just to be safe. At noon, I was standing in the hallway talking to Tyler when I felt a gush of water. I just froze and started saying "something's happening, something's happening". Tyler looked confused and said "what are you talking about?" I answered with, "um, I'm either peeing my pants or my water just broke." I was wearing a pair of big, baggy pajama pants so Tyler couldn't tell I had water running down my leg. His response was to say, "I can't see" as he reached over and yanked my pants down to my ankles and then he said, "....Oh!". At this point, I was certain it was time to go to the hospital. I was only 36 weeks 4 days pregnant, so I didn't have a hospital bag completely packed. While I took a shower and finished packing my bag, Tyler quickly installed the car seat and put everything he thought we might need together and in the car.  I felt kind of frantic as I was getting ready feeling like I needed to rush and get there as soon as possible, I kept trying to calm down by reminding myself that since this is my first baby, labor would be extremely long....little did I know.

We arrived at the hospital around 1:30.

Props to those who can look amazing during labor with their hair and make up done. This is as glamorous as it got for me.

We decided not to spread the news until the nurse confirmed my water had broken. The last thing I wanted was Tyler sending out a never-mind text saying, "false alarm, Sara just peed her pants". With all my preterm labor stuff, we had been to the hospital a few times but always ended up being sent home, so when the nurse told us my water had in fact broken I was exited about knowing that when we left this time, it would be with a baby.

Ready for her arrival!

The nurse checked me and I was only dilated to a 1 1/2. They monitored my contractions for an hour and when they weren't doing much, decided to start me on pitocin. At this point, it was about 3:00 pm and we all figured I wouldn't deliver until well into the morning. In fact, the nurse told me I could have the epidural anytime I wanted but to remember that once I got it, I wouldn't be able to move around and since it was going to be a good 12+ hours before I delivered, it might be a good idea to wait. So I waited, I was a little uncomfortable but nothing unbearable. As the pain started to increase, she gave me a little medicine in my iv to take the edge off. After that, the rest of the night was a blurry whirlwind. The pain was still bearable and I told myself I'd wait until it was borderline unbearable to ask for the epidural. Stupid idea, but I guess I just wanted to see how far I could go without it, plus I figured I had plenty of time to get it. Around 5:00 my mom could tell the pain was starting to increase quickly and suggested that I think about the epidural. I decided she was right and asked the nurse to get the anesthesiologist. Luckily, he came within a few minutes which was a blessing because from the time I asked for him to the time he got there, my pain had increased so much I was in tears. He quickly inserted the epidural and I tried to relax as I waited to feel better.

Tyler was so sweet and such a great support.

About 30 minutes later, I was still in pain and feeling so much pressure. I remember being so mad and thinking, epidurals don't work like everyone says...I thought I was supposed to be completely numb! When I told the nurse how I was feeling, she seemed puzzled and decided to check me. To everyone's surprise I was a dilated to a 7! It was barely 5:30, I had gone from a 1 1/2 to a 7 in less than 4 hours. 30 minuets later the nurse checked me again, I was at a 10 and she told me it was time to push. Everything had happened so fast! My legs were numb but I was still feeling pressure. It wasn't until 15 minutes into pushing that I finally went completely numb. A few minutes after that, they decided to turn the epidural off. Everything happened so quickly the epidural only worked completely for a few minutes. It's a good thing I got it when I did, I could have missed my window. After pushing for a 1/2 hour the doctor discovered Romney was coming out face up. This meant it was going to be harder for me to push her out and make the whole process harder on her. So I pushed...and pushed...and puked...and pushed some more. After pushing for an hour and a half she finally came! (Later on the nurse told me that the last woman to have a face up baby pushed for 4 hours. After that, I was pretty pleased with my pushing efforts.) I was so exhausted and so exited I just cried.

Romney Beth Nelson was born at 7:37 pm, weighing 6 lbs 10 oz and 19 inches long. Which  is rather big for a 36 week baby. I truly thought she'd be in the 5 lb range. She surprised us all. The doctor told us that if she had waited much longer to come, they would have had to do a c-section. I completely agreed with Tyler later when he said that she simply ran out of room, so she clawed her way out. Her nose was so smashed, it was literally flat against her face accompanied by a massive cone head with plenty of bruising, poor thing looked like she'd been through the ringer.

As they laid her on my chest I could tell she wasn't breathing right. I only got to hold her for a few seconds before they took her away. After looking her over, weighing her etc. they decided she needed to spend an hour or so in the NICU. She came out with the cord wrapped pretty tightly around her neck. So between that and being early, she was having a hard time filling her lungs with air completely. They assured me everything would be fine (that didn't stop me from worrying) and that I could come see her soon. After I was able to get up and move to a wheel chair, they let me stop by the NICU on the way down to Mother Baby. When I got there she was hooked up to a CPAP machine (blows air from your nose into your lungs) with a tube down her throat. She looked miserable and she was clearly not happy. She had a bunch of nurses surrounding her trying to start an IV. Poor girl had poke marks all over her body. They let me look at her for a little bit before they said I needed to go get checked in at Mother Baby and she needed to stay a little longer. She had already been there for 2 hours and I was hoping she could go with me to Mother Baby. I was heart broken as we left, but held back the tears until I got to my room. This wasn't what I had imagined at all. I thought I'd get to love and cuddle her from the minute she came out. I was grateful she was getting what she needed, I just couldn't stand the fact that I had to leave her and couldn't be by her side every minute. They kept promising she'd get to leave the NICU soon, but it kept getting pushed back. When they finally did release her, I thought I'd see her in a matter of minutes, but it was another hour and a half because of the stop she had to make at the nursery. Tyler finally got to bring her to me at 12:30 am. Those 5 hours had dragged on and on. I was so happy when I finally got to hold and kiss her.

We had lots of family that came to see her and it was so nice when we all finally got to oooh and ahhh over her. I didn't sleep or put her down the rest of the night. I now have the greatest respect and empathy for anyone who has to leave their baby in the NICU. Those few hours away from her were so difficult, I can't imagine how hard it would be if that lasted for days, weeks or even months.

Poor bruised head and smashed nose.

This was on her little hospital bed :(

 With her NICU adventure behind her, she was healthy as could be and problem free. Two days later we came home. We absolutely adore her. I'm positive no other baby gets kissed as much as she does. She tolerates it really well, probably because she has to. The past 5 weeks have been amazing. I won't lie, I did reach a level of tired that actually brought me to tears, but it's all been worth it. She is the sweetest and most easy going baby. We just adore her and love being parents!

  

*Thank you to my little sister for being apart of this and taking these pics!

A Crazy Week

The past week has been quite the roller coaster ride for us. The rib pain I mentioned from my last post got so intense I finally decided to call the doctor. He sent me to the hospital the morning of the 26th for an ultrasound to get a good look at my gallbladder and liver to make sure everything was ok. The next morning I woke up in so much pain. The strange thing was the intensity of it would come and go, but I couldn't find any rhyme or reason for it. Tyler told me to stay home from work and take it easy. He called the doctor's office to see if they had the results from my ultrasound. When they said everything looked normal he made an appointment to see the doctor because I was still in pain. He met me at the doctor later that afternoon. When the doctor came in he wanted to check her heartbeat. When I pulled up my shirt, before he even touched my stomach, he said, "Do you know you're having a contraction?" I looked at him in utter confusion. " Um...no, shouldn't I know when I'm having a contraction?" He told me to feel my stomach and then said "It's hard as a rock." Tyler and I both responded with "That's how it always feels." He decided to check me and found that I was already 80% effaced, but luckily not dilated. When he asked more about the pain I was feeling in my ribs, I told him it came and went but the intensity has been getting increasingly worse over the past week. That's when he decided to send us over to the hospital for a non-stress test. When we got to the hospital, they hooked me up to the machine and sure enough, I was having contractions. They would come and go but there were times they were as close as 4 minutes apart. That was when I realized the contractions were directly related to the intensity of pain I was feeling in my right rib cage. The hospital ran a bunch of blood tests and when everything came back normal, they gave me a shot to stop the contractions, sent me home and told me to lay down as much as possible. The contractions came back early the next morning so I called the doctor and he prescribed me a pill to take every 6 hours to continually stop the contractions.

By Saturday the contractions had slowed down a bit, but I was still in pain and now I wasn't sure if my water was leaking. I know what you're thinking, How do you not know if your water is leaking?? But it gets rather confusing with everything that's going on. I probably would have dismissed it as normal, but with all the contractions, I was worried I had progressed into active labor. So after some debating with myself, I (with the help of Tyler saying, let's just go) decided I'd rather be safe than sorry and we went back to Labor and Delivery. They hooked me up to the machine and go figure, I was having contractions. They ran a couple different tests this time. One was to see if my water was in fact leaking, luckily that came back negative. And the other was called a Fetal Fibronectine test which checks for a protein that is secreted before you go into labor; that one came back positive. They sent me home and told me to stay on modified bed rest until I saw my doctor on Monday.

When I saw my doctor on Monday, he told me he made an appointment for me to see a specialist on Wednesday and that he wanted me to continue bed rest until I saw her. I was hoping for the best when we went in to see her on Wednesday, but also preparing for her to tell me I'd be on bed rest until the baby came. At the beginning of the appointment, the ultrasound tech took a very detailed look at the baby. We found out she weighs 4lbs 9oz and is measuring right on time. The tech tried to get a profile pic and pointed out that she has such little room that the tech barely pushing on my stomach with the ultrasound wand smashed her nose against her face. So below is a pic of her cute little lips and her smashed little nose.

The tech also showed us the back of her head and pointed out that she has hair, which I thought was so cute! So we know that our little one has some hair and is definitely running out of room. And go figure her little bum was right where I've been experiencing all my pain. When the specialist came in, she gave us better news than I could have hoped for. She said everything was fine and that the positive Fetal Fibronectine test doesn't mean much without progression of the cervix and since I wasn't dilating, the contractions were just braxton hicks and chances of me going into labor in the next week was slim. By Tuesday I'll be 34 weeks and they don't try to stop labor at that point. So she said that because of that, I could go off bed rest and even stop taking the pills I'd been given to stop the contractions. As for the pain up by my ribs, she told me no one would be able to give me a definitive answer as to why, but her opinion was that it was due to my small size/frame and there's not much I can do about it. I think she's probably right. Even without any contractions, my stomach is extremely tight and if you look at it from the right angle it actually looks lopsided because you can literally see the outline of her little bum and back on the top right side of my stomach.  I'm just so relieved that nothing was wrong with my gallbladder or liver and that the baby is doing well and will be fine even if she does come at 34 weeks. As we left the hospital, Tyler noted the extra bounce in my step. I was so happy everything was going to be ok. Since I got that great news, my stress level has dropped dramatically and I've noticed a decrease in the intensity and frequency of the contractions even without the pills. So who knows maybe she'll come very soon or maybe she'll come late, as long as she continues to do well, I don't really care either way....ok, a little on the early side would be nice. She really is running out of room and I wonder how long it will be before my body just kicks her out or she decides she'd rather be out than in.  

Almost There!

31 weeks:

Only 9 more weeks to go!! That seems so far away and so incredibly close all at the same time. I feel like I've made so much progress and besides being tired and somewhat uncomfortable, I'm feeling great. This has to be one of the longest and shortest experiences of my life. I feel like I've been pregnant forever, but since I've been feeling better, time started flying. Some of the wonderful 3rd trimester ailments I've been experiencing include acid reflux, heart burn, leg cramps and pain on the lower right side of my rib cage in my front and back. I've figured out how to deal with all of it except the pain in my ribs. That one showed up a few days ago and there's not much I can do for relief other than stretch my top half as straight as it will go. It's the worst when I'm sitting or lying down and continues to wake me up in the middle of the night. I now sleep with my right arm up and over my head and that offers a little relief. All that being said, I would still take all of this amplified by 10 rather than deal with the 1st trimester again.

This is the only photo I allowed when I was super sick and on the iv. I was about 10 weeks pregnant. This was taken after the picc line was placed but before it started making me sick. I think I allowed the photo because I felt pretty ok that day. So this was my 24/7 friend for 6 weeks. This isn't my favorite pic, but it's nice to have a reminder of where I was and how far I've come.

As uncomfortable as I might get, nothing can be worse than what I experienced at the beginning of this pregnancy. I try to keep that in mind and be grateful that Romney and I have made it this far, happy and healthy. So here are a few belly pics from the last couple months.

23 weeks

28 weeks

30 weeks--special thanks to my friend Sharli for taking  professional pics for us. I love how they turned out and I'll post more later :)

Tyler and I grow more and more excited everyday. Between the two of us, I'm honestly not sure who's more excited. Tyler has been working non-stop this past week to get the nursery finished (he's amazing) and it looks like it will be almost completely done by tomorrow, so I'll post pics soon. While he's working on the nursery, I spend my time deep cleaning; so between the two of us our house will definitely be ready for this little girl. We start prenatal classes at the hospital on October 1st. I'm extremely excited for this, mostly because it means we're getting even closer. Plus I'm the type of person that likes to know exactly what's going on, so I'm eager to get a rundown of what labor and the hospital stay will entail. But until that time comes, I'm going to just enjoy these last 2 months of pregnancy. I have a feeling part of me will really miss it once she's born.

2 Year Anniversary!

Our 2 year anniversary was this past Monday!! I can't believe how quickly time has flown. It feels like we met just yesterday, but at the same time I feel like we've always been together. In the past 2 years, we have grown and accomplished so much together: Tyler graduating college, me getting off all seizure meds with no problems, 2 car accidents, buying a home, getting a dog, getting pregnant! and then pulling through a very rough 1st trimester, Tyler getting an amazing job at UVU and of course meeting our baby girl very soon, and that's just to name a few. We love being married! There's nothing better than sharing your life with someone you love and knowing they'll be by your side through the good and the bad.

As I mentioned above, Tyler got a job at UVU as the Employer Relations Coordinator. His first day just happened to be on our Anniversary, so we celebrated last Friday instead. We decided to do a "staycation" and do a bunch of fun stuff close to home. We started out the day going to the zoo. I know that might sound random, but neither one of us had been to a zoo in years and we decided it would be fun. Here are few pics of us at the zoo.

It's quite possible that we are some of the world's worst picture takers. We haul our camera around with us most of the time but always forget to actually use it and then I end up kicking myself at the end of the day. (I'm sure this will change drastically when the baby is born). So unfortunately, these are all the pics we have from that day. After the zoo we went to the gateway mall and watched The Dark Knight Rises (we loved it) and then walked around the mall for a bit and then off to dinner. It was such a fun day! We had big plans for Saturday too but I was wiped out from the day before.....pregnancy makes you tired! So we took it easy most of the day. We did a little shopping and then dinner and another movie (haha, easiest thing to do while pregnant). We had such a fun time celebrating and absolutely love those days we get to be together all day just the two of us or what we call "Tyler and Sara days".

Like I mentioned a few times Tyler started his new job and he absolutely loves it!! He comes home everyday so excited about what he's doing and the great environment he's in. I love knowing that he loves and is passionate about his job (that's not always the case for most people). We're so grateful he was given such an amazing opportunity.

I'm now 26 weeks pregnant!! Next week I'll be in my 3rd trimester, the 2nd trimester flew by and I'm hoping the same will happen with the 3rd cause we can't wait to meet our baby girl!

20 Weeks--Half Way!!

I've officially made it half way through my pregnancy! Looking back it feels like it went by so fast, which is something I never ever thought I'd say when I was so sick that the days felt like years and the weeks felt like decades. There was also a small part of me that believed I'd die before I made it this far. But now I feel like I've done a complete 180 and could not be enjoying life or this pregnancy more! I'm so in love with this little girl already. Tyler and I were talking the other day and he said the phrase "my daughter". It caught me by surprise.....holy crap, we have a daughter!! Calling her that makes this even more real. It reminded me of the first time I heard Tyler call me "my wife" it caught me by surprise because I wasn't used to being called that and I absolutely adored it. We are truly enjoying this experience and can't wait to meet our little girl in only 20 more weeks!! (give or take)

Little Romney has become more and more active. Tyler can feel her moving from the outside really easily now. He was talking to her the other night and she went crazy. In fact Tyler asked me if she was doing somersaults because he could literally feel her whole body twisting and turning, it was really cool. I love feeling her move, it's an incredible bonding experience.

We had our 20 week ultrasound yesterday morning. She looks perfect and is growing right on schedule. This is a profile pic with her hand up by her face. She must love to touch her face because her hands were there the entire time.

We got confirmation that the baby is for sure a girl, the ultrasound tech said she's 100% positive. I can't make much sense of the pic below but I'm glad the tech could :) 

This is one of the tiny feet that kick me all day :)

Here are a few 20 Week baby bump pics

Haha, this last pic makes me laugh! This is my dad and brother and we're comparing the size of our bellies. I think they're still beating me....for now. 

In other news, we went to Fish Lake with Tyler's sister Misty and her family last weekend and had a blast! (Thank you Misty for the pics) The guys were so proud of their catch!

Dexter's a little bit of a punk. He liked to let the other dogs do all the work and fetch the stick and then steal it from them....it's a pretty smart idea so I guess I have to give him credit for that. 

Thanks for such a fun trip Misty!!! We love going to Fish Lake (or anywhere) with you guys!